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多多书院 > 其他类型 > 长安那场雨 > 第二十一章 时光逆转16
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时光继续逆转,2009年1月2日,柳诗然怀念已逝的太奶奶,想念江枫,又很怨恨他,写下了《心语》:

2008年终于结束了,这曾经是我最期待的一年,可却是我最感伤的一年。这一年失去了两个人,爱人、亲人,生离、死别,都感受过了。一句“我怕耽误你”而后绝然离开,两年的感情顷刻结束,一句“天亦不变,爱亦不变”的誓言随风吹散。于是终于知道,爱上一个人是没有理由的,而离开一个人却有着太多的借口。想起了林妹妹,为报神英侍者的施露之恩,用一生的泪来偿还。想起了那句话,爱上一个人需要一年,而忘却一个人却需要一生的时间,真的吗?感觉自己快要流尽这一生的泪了……103岁的太奶奶也在这一年走了,78岁的爷爷没有妈妈了,家也不是五世同堂了。灵堂上太奶奶的照片是那样的慈祥,可是人已不在,恨自己为什么没有早回来,还可以见上最后一面,和太奶奶中间隔了两辈人,对太奶奶的感情或许没有爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶深,可毕竟,在我人生的二十三年中都有这位老人,每次回老家,都有爷爷奶奶和太奶奶这三位老人,可现在,少了一个,就感觉少了很多。她真的很让我敬佩,走过了清朝、民国和现在,太爷早就去了,她一个人走过这么多年,身体一直很好,一切自理,不用别人照顾,真的是到时候了吧,突然就去了,也没有麻烦别人侍奉过。那天晚上很冷,给太奶奶送路的队伍好长好长,所有的人都哭了。记得以前,每年都有电视台或报社的记者来采访,那时候太奶奶神采奕奕,我以为她可以永远这样。终于明白,原来再坚强的灵魂似乎也敌不过命运……2008年,这一年大学毕业,曾经想像着这会是美好的一年,可以逃离学校踏入社会,可以自由自在,豪情壮志可以大干一番。离开学校才知道,社会真的很残酷,更多的是失望和打击,一年了,感觉自己一直像是在漂泊,一直也没有找到合适自己的位置,却是身心的疲惫……终于,过去了,最讨厌的这一年终于过去了,牛年到了,我的本命年了,真快,等到6月1日就是我二十四周岁的生日了。2008年不知道得到了什么,失去的却太多太多,新的一年了,希望可以否极泰来。想起了那句话:地球是圆的,不可能总在一个点,所以也不可能总是失意伴随。本命年许下一个愿望:希望家人永远平安幸福,希望所有的好朋友永远开心快乐,希望我的梦想可以在这一年一一实现。感谢所有关心我的人,我很幸福很快乐,呵呵,牛年快乐!

2008年11月8日,柳诗然用不太合语法的英文写下了《about goal,about work,about life……》,夏雨雨抱怨柳诗然的这篇英文,是她一个词一个词查英文词典才看懂的,太费劲了。

what's your goal in life?if someone ask me the question,i'm bound to answer that my goal is to make my life more wonderful.but,how can i make my life more wonderful?to be honest,i'm very confused about it.i ever haved many dreams in my childhood.i was very very innocent and lovely.i ever wanted to bee journalist,actress,director and so on.but,i found that i was not suit for those position because my character.my character is very introverted and i have no confidence.so i'm very depressed for a long while.especially,when i started to search for the job after i graduated from university.i felt very unhappy and disappoint in this year.interview a job and failure again and again.certainly,i can find several jobs that was not pleased to me.frankly,to search for a job isn't difficult,but a satisfied job is very difficult when you find it.-

today,i'm working in samsung pany.as is known to all,samsung is a big international pany,samsung mobile phone is famous for everyone.however,my work is mobile phone testing.i'm a employee in the minimum level of pany,the salary is very low and have no any bonus.what's more,it is very difficult to promote.the opportunity is about zero. i hate to tell you,this job is my the fourth job,i don't want to change jobs very frequently.but i know i can't,i'm not pleased to this job,it make me very boring and unhappy.i think i'm a ambitious girl,i like the work more challenging. so i think the job isn't suit for me.thus,i want to quit.but it isn't a easy thing,i must be find a new satisfied job instead it,or i will not quit.so i must be promote myself.i find the english is very important to find a good job in foreign enterprise.it is my objective to find a suitable job in foreign enterprise.i start to learn business english in xindongfang training school at weekend.work and study make me very tired.however,i know i must be keep it up.i believe that i can make it.i firmly believe i will succeed in my work and life in future.i expect and wait for the day of success.-

10月29日,柳诗然写下了《冬》:

已经深秋了,马上冬天就要来临了。记得小时候,很喜欢冬天,喜欢下雪的日子。喜欢看那圣洁的雪花纷纷扬扬,飘洒落地,总是期盼着下雪。可是现在,感觉自己对很多东西都没什么感觉了,一切都已经看得很淡了,很难找到让自己欣喜的事情了。突然讨厌冬天了,害怕寒冷。自然界的冬天很漫长,而我人生的冬天似乎更漫长,不知何时是尽头。时刻在对自己说,坚持吧,一定会有春暖花开的那一天!